perhaps i'm hiding inside today. perhaps i'm not getting up because of too little sleep. perhaps i'm sad about the loss of my phone or perhaps maybe i'm just not looking forward to driving for 2 hours.

i'm just sitting in my room, watching the leaves blow around on the trees and begging for rain so i don't feel like i didn't go in to work for no reason. i guess i will go in just a bit but i don't really want to get out of bed unless i have to today.

i'm leafing through the online seed savers catalog lamenting the fact that the only thing that i've planted this year is a weedy arugula patch and some carrot beds that are taking their good ole' time. i'm starting to feel constantly ill at ease, like there's something more that i could or should be doing. i've stopped buying animals to try to satiate this feeling. i'm not going to have a kid anytime soon to see if that helps. i just kinda wish that i could just be content.... but it seems like more could always be done or there's something new on the horizon that i haven't explored enough.


pretty much my house is a mess, my paperwork is in shambles and i don't know what i'm doing with my life.
oh, and that rain that i was counting on, still isn't happening. fuck you, weather.com