Headlines

Recently events in my life have been like news headlines. This first would be : 27 yr old man found dead in apartment after drug raid.

I didn't like when the new neighbor moved in to apartment A. He had an ankle bracelet and always sat outside his door, which is at the bottom of the steps leading up to my door, inconveniently for me. People stopped by and banged on his door constantly or there would be cars in the parking lot with people waiting for him. There was a handwritten sign that would get posted after a scuffle about how you must call first(usually spelled "kall") or he ain't answering the door. I pondered how much leverage you could actually have in these types of business transactions.
Unlucky for me, my work schedule often overlapped with his "work" schedule and many nights I would come home at midnight to a group of people sitting on the stairs to my door in varying states of mind.
There was that inherent tense feeling that females have in the knowledge of being the weaker sex. My friend gave me a gun when I first moved in but I never felt the need to use it. But suddenly I started target practicing and keeping it loaded by my bed. I got another gun to keep in my car, which is tricky because technically you aren't supposed to keep a loaded gun in your car, but then I thought about the logistics of getting out of my car, gun in the front seat and walking to the back if my car to grab the magazine and load the guy or maybe I should just get a concealed carry permit. I did find that leaving shotgun shells on my seat did alter how they approached me. I honestly just wanted left alone.
He had a habit of making disagreements with his lady very public by yelling matches in the parking lot late every night. Or once he punched some drunk guy out while the neighborhood watched in disbelief. He got a pit bull puppy a couple weeks ago and named it karma. Weird to see a tattooed up guy in thug gear yelling "karma, come here" as a puppy runs away from him.
Anyway, on Friday morning the cops came and pounded on his door using a variety of threats and appeals to try to coax him out. They threatened him with parole violation and getting bit by the drug dogs they were about to send in and seemed mildly annoyed at me trying to load up my car to head out to work that night. I would hate to be a cop in this city. He wasn't home so there was a bunch of cop cars constantly circling the block. Later that night I heard a thumping and clattering, but with super thin walls, you kinda just brush off everything as something you shouldn't be hearing.
The next morning a girl was histerically screaming as her friends scattered when the cops and ambulance came. Half hour later, the drug dogs were out, 13 more cop cars and the coroner was there.

It is a complete surreal feeling when something terrible happens to someone you didn't like. All the snippets of conversations get hashed out over and over and I wonder if I didn't give the kid a fair shake or if I could have done anything. Jason loved the guy and helped give his druggie friends rides places and just brushed off the people who would pound on the door downstairs and when that guy wouldn't answer would turn to Jason an ask if he had any weed.
Usually I'm good at mustering up at least niceties but with this guy I couldn't. It was too close to home, too uneasy. And I felt bad. I just wanted him to move or get arrested. I didn't think he would die.

The other headline is : fatal bus crash leaves 8 dead in Tennessee.
My mom called with news that my grandfather was on a church bus that blew a tire, jumped the median and smashed into a semi. His name wasn't on the list of life flighted survivors and only two people walked away without being hospitalized. At 95 years old, that likely wasn't him. A couple hours later it was confirmed that he didn't make it.
No talk of pulling plugs or what to do, that sort of finality is actually really nice to have, in spite of it being sad to lose someone. It's over. No nursing homes or wondering if today is the day. What a way to go.

So now I'm sitting in my now calm apartment, contemplating if I want to head down for a group funeral at a baptist church is North Carolina or when I should head to work despite no motivation.
With the browns  already played Thursday night, I'm not sure what my weekend looks like. Probably a little meditation and a lot of sleep is in order. Rehydrating and recharging will be nice. I just need to get through these last two days of my work week an i will be set.