My toes are just starting to thaw from inside my stretched out socks. I had wanted to clean up tonight, but my legs have had enough and are ready for bed. I got my first cow today, a cute little bottle fed holstein complete with a bottle feeding crazy girl who just kept screaming- you're not going to eat him, are you!? - as I dodged the question. He's a cow... kinda big for a pet. And he eats a lot. We'll see. I have no idea what I am going to do with him.
My mom is mad at me again. I guess my number is up to be her least favorite kid. It was a good run, but I guess we all have to pay our dues. It seems like a perpetuating disorder where one thing piles on to the next thing and everything starts building and building and getting thrown way out of proportion. I don't think my brother is fit to bring a kid into the world. My mother thinks otherwise. My dad was caught tilling yesterday. My mom looked like she was going to kill herself. And now my dad is agreeing to get rid of his dog, move to a condo, or whatever she is talking about this week. I'm sick of it. Not like I'm going to do much though. Just avoid her for awhile. Usually the kid the farthest away is the most loved.
I am already worrying about thanksgiving. i don't know why. the weather maybe. the job loosing maybe. just worried about not being able to pay bills or where i'm going to work or what i'll be when i grow up. I think I need to get out more, go somewhere else. right now my world feels pretty small and crumbling in on itself.
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