Move on

When your best friend tells you in a text that she's moving 5 states away, do you;

A. Lecture her about Proper life decisions.
B. Go into a screaming tirade about how she can't do this to you and she caaaant leave.
C. Grab all the dirty clothes cluttering up your bedroom and head to the laundromat to clear your head.

Change my playlist to something a bit more contemplative with a nice beat that will help with my new obsession, drum machine beats. I don't like the straight hard counts. I like the beats that you uncomfortably wait for them to hit. Not punk rock.

I forgot my soap so my trip ends up being 20 bucks but much needed.

I found 10 bucks in the dryer so I guess it was worth it.

Back to thinking, my job has gone the way it wa foretold by a winery consultant about the model not to do- plant a ton of vines on the family farm and wrap yourself in so much overhead before you even know if your location is good, you can sell your wine, you can even make good wine, or if the local market can absorb all you can produce.
I can sell wine. About 700 bottles per month through the tasting room, 90% consumed on site with high staff overhead.
We can make wine... But it explodes in the bottle and we keep having to redo it.

The business plan is flawed. No matter how hard I try, selling bottles of wine for under cost isn't going to make things work.

So I am stepping back and taking a deep breath. I should have run the numbers awhile ago. I guess I assumed someone already had. Now I know that's false
There's still some part of me that hopes we could make some changes and make things work. I have loyal customers who tell me I'm too cheap. I just say - I don't set the prices.
And my bosses are in panic mode and using the word micromanaging like its a good thing.  Which is making every day harder than the last. I'm laying off my awesome employees and then calling them back to help me with exploding wine, which is frustrating for all involved.

Alright. Back to deep breathing and assessing my life. If I would throw myself into something with a smart business plan, I would feel more accomplished and less frustrated. Of course. But what and where.

I re-remembered that I like city living. Maybe a bigger city?

Eh, I won't decide today. I'll go to lunch wih my sister an my mom. Then I'll go to work. And try to be happy and keep my best employee from quitting exude I don't know what I would do without him. And I'll drop my dog off with my sister an she will look sad. And then a night walk by myself, maybe to the bar up the street with giant beers for $3. An sit in the corner with my drum machine and make uncomfortable yet cobtmplative  beats.

Two broken keyboards and one broke Jane makes for very depression nights with no music.