There's something terribly disheartening about losing something I put so much of myself into. I guess I should have seen it coming when they wanted to rip up my strawberry patch leading up to the front door. Or when they stopped talking to me months ago. I kept trying to figure different things out but wouldn't get a response.
I am sad for all the customers I collected that I will no longer see. I will miss my staff I carefully groomed. I liked being outside in the vines tending the crop and then coming in and working on the wine and serving and playing with food and chocolate pairings. I liked building events up until they became giant behemoths of creative minds and ideas all with wine glasses in hand. I liked putting out Tuesday night recipe ideas like grilled peaches and chicken that went well with certain wines, getting people excited about 4 ingredient cooking over an open flame.
I am devastated.
I don't know where to go from here.
Last night I dreamed of a tornado. I was driving in a city, working with this local shop for some idea I had or consultation when I finished and got in my car, turned on the radio and got the news too late to head towards the basement. The tornado was coming right at me, like it was walking up the street. I ran into a building and tried to get to the stairs when all the windows shattered and I was consumed in black fury and white light. I remember thinking I should be terrified but I wasn't. I was just tired and sick of running.
And then I woke up
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