return of a ghost.

J.D just emailed me. This is the J.D that I dated in high school. The J.D that may or may not have faked a heart attack and gotten carted out of school. The J.D that lied about drugs making his lungs collapse, that was the star of the basketball team in his brain, the one that scared the shit out of me by stopping in the middle of nowhere to yell at me for... um, not sure what. The J.D that yanked me from the homecoming dance because his socks were too tight or too short or, I don't remember. The same boy who took me to the park to star watch on a freezing cold night and insisted that we fucking sit there until we see a shooting star because that means that we are made for each other.
We never saw that fucking shooting star.

And of course, it's been ten years. And of course I've only thought about him twice, usually while driving by the spot in the woods that he drove to yell at me after homecoming for embarassing him about his socks or something and I almost walked home half pissed off and half ashamed that I would have to go home and tell my parents that they were right and he was an asshole.

But then again, ten years ago, I was all about the jerks. I like them. I'm not sure what evolutionary chain thing that is because of, but some young girls like the mean ones. I guess maybe part of it is from idolizing Beauty and the Beast, where just with her innocent love, the maniacal isolated prince/beast changes into something amazing... a maniacal isolated prince with a little wifey.
Or was it the Phantom of the Opera where the maniacal isolated deformed dude falls in love with the underappreciated chorus girl and makes her a star. But then again, he disappears alone in that one, which always made me sad.
Of the Little Mermaid who falls in love with a different species, changes herself, sacrifices her voice and he still rejects her. but then again, that's a bit of a stretch.

Point being, 10 years ago, I really thought that I could melt this asshole's heart and bring out the good in him that of course only I saw.


In any case, the email threw me off a bit. I kinda half expect a half assed myspace comment or something, which is the cheap and easy way out. Maybe it's because I put the accent over the second e in my name making me very difficult to search for. But I got his email through local harvest, a website designed to bring local growers to their local customers.
Could it have been that J. D was searching for a thanksgiving turkey and found me? Or was it more of a concentrated search and that website is the first thing that comes up on google?


Oh well, only one way to find out. Now for the call....